Sex Plus Violence makes a Motswana man

Man’s hand holding a woman hand for rape and sexual abuse, Hands for rape and sexual abuse concept, Sexual abuse is a problem or Social issues concept.

Before I even start this article(some might call it a rant) I want to give a desclaimer that I know not all men, not all Batswana men, not all black men.
Alright, now that we got that out of the way, have you ever asked yourself why it seems like when a Motswana man speaks about sex, describes sex the language is always super aggressive and violent?
Coming back home to Botswana from my last jaunt abroad, I decided to take a different tactic to life. I have always stayed as far away as possible from people in my enviroment, isolated myself from my enviroment in my small town and in my country since I just could not understand it and in turn felt it didn’t understand me back. Iv always felt like the oddball out, the macaroon in a sea of choclate chip cookies.

Feeling misunderstood and judged because of my hippy, tree hugger ways. So many instances taught me to simply keep my thoughts to myself and simply enjoy my own life because when the people around me got to know the type of things that went on in my mind they would for sure judge or laugh or completely ignore me, and when I was young the laughter and ignorance felt much worse than anything. I remember when I was around 14 years old I saw one of my favorite trees in my community be cut down and it cut me to the bone, I spent the whole week crying for that tree and people would just stare at me like I had lost my mind. I especially found the male species especially frightening, confusing and ultimately life threatening: I had a horrible sense that when they looked at me all they wanted was sex and that was the hell on earth I vowed to avoid at all costs. So I pretty much learnt to keep my ways to myself and wait for a chance to be out in the world with same minded individuals.


Living all over Asia for over 9years, I finally found my tribe, like minded, free spirited people who loved and understood me. So when I came back home after all these years away I took a decision to give my environment an actual chance, with no judgments, no hesitations and walls and boy did I ever have my fears confirmed.
Men in Botswana look at women like they walk around naked, like we are not even human like them, like we are just walking vaginas to be competed over and possessed for a time until it doesn’t suit them anymore. Worse, they even talk about when in that manner, talk to women in this manner and truly believe they are allowed, culturally, morally, legal and everyway in between to simply grab and touch and do as they please at any moment without permission or a care in the world.

Women are clearly made to satisfy their desires, sexual, financial and otherwise and to really show that all they care is about themselves and how they have been groomed to treat women like their personal toys just look at the way sex is described so violently by these men. From beginning of culture, in our language, in our music, in our society, do you see it?

Man’s hand holding a woman hand for rape and sexual abuse, Hands for rape and sexual abuse concept, Sexual abuse is a problem or Social issues concept.


It’s like the took the line “I beat the p*#& up” and ran a million miles with it.
Sad to think that we have many generations of men in our midst who do not understand the meaning and power of an actual genuine connection, men who view women and people, like them. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are a lot of men in our environment who aren’t like that, who respect women and don’t take the literal sense to beating the kitty up, the problem is that the majority of our male population is on the far opposite side of this spectrum, and the ones who respect women do not take the time to correct and show their friends how toxic and unhealthy their ways are. It’s our responsibility to raise a future generation of men who are different. A generation based on culture that is free from violence.

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