Tag Archives: world

Happiness

What is happiness really?

I’m, pretty sure I have found the secret to happiness.. Or at least the secret to my own happiness. It’s all about your mind, heart and soul.

Happiness is when all of these aspects of your being are in sync. When they are all at peace you attain happiness. But when one of them is out of sync, when your heart hurts, your soul and your mind lose focus, they become conflicted, confused because one piece of you is not well. When your soul hurts you lose passion, you lose peace and your mind and heart feel drained, you feel tired all the time, you can not be the same as you were before. And because of that your body also become tired, unable to go on the same as before.

So if you want to attain that happiness again, you have to find the peace, and the only way to find the peace is to go back to doing that give you passion, the things that bring you laughter and joy. To take a break and just feel everything that you need to feel. To not bottle up feelings because when they eventually come out they will overwhelm you, they will over flow and you will not know what to do, how to control and capture them.

Find your peace and you will find your happiness…

All Women are Beautiful…

Its simple.. Women are simply beautiful.

It really irks me off when someone says,

“You are so pretty for a black girl” ..Does this imply that if I was not black I would be prettier?

OR

“You have a pretty face”… Because this means the rest of me is not pretty?

I think Jacob says it best.. I love this guy. We need more men like this in the world. Men who know the beauty of women completely without conditions.

Pretty for a Black Girl

 

Human Zoos

A little over a week ago a discovered the word “Human Zoos”.. Makes you wonder right? What could that possibly mean? If you are like me and have never heard of this before then you are probably puzzled.

zooLets take a walk down history lane a bit. and FYI this might be a bit explicit and make you feel sad, angry or even nauseous, but it is part of history and it has me interested so if you think you might not be able to handle it I suggest you turn right back around and close the page.

Unfortunately, human zoos are yet another uncomfortable example of the world’s flawed past of racism and what’s worse is they happen to be a part of our recent history. Racism has come a long way since the 1800s, but it still occurs today. These wildly flawed incidents of the past are horrific, but should not be forgotten. Along with paying homage to those who suffered, acknowledging these acute examples of racism in our past often reflects the issues of today that will undoubtedly shock and appal generations to come.

 

It was not too long ago that people from France, Belgium, Germany, and other countries came to visit humans who were locked up in cages. In these zoos, humans were on exhibit in front of a large audience, locked in with animals at a local zoo.

Hundreds of thousands of people would visit these minorities who were on display like animals. The humans zoos were a large attraction, as 18 million came to visit the World Fair in 1889, held in Paris. Over four hundred Aboriginals and Africans were displayed in front of large crowds of people, stripped down half-naked and thrown into cages.

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Africans, Asians, and Indigenous people were often caged and displayed in a makeshift “natural habitat.” The human displays were very popular and were shown at world fairs from Paris to New York.

At the 1931 Paris World Fair, this exhibit was so successful that it drew 34 million visitors.Indigenous people are shown participating in archery in 1904 in St Louis at an event whites organized called the “Savage Olympics Exhibition.”

Humans zoos were very popular in Europe during the late 1800s until the mid 1900s. North America was not to be outdone, though, as they also got into the human zoo game.

zoo5Women were recruited( and when I say recruited I really mean enslaved) to work in a Paris zoo because of a genetic characteristic known as steatopygia – protuberant buttocks and elongated labia. Europeans went to the zoo to stare at their curves, amazing that the obsession with the big butt isnt just a new thing, because these women where different they were sexualized, treated like sexual creatures because of the way they were built, they believed that their bodies where unusual and overly sexual and therefore deserve to be treated like sexual creatures. Men and women alike would go to these exhibitions to see them, to touch their bodies( their butts, their private parts and their breasts) as they wish.

A 20 year-old girl from South Africa known as Sarah “Saartjie” Baartman would be emblematic of the dark era that gave rise to the popularity of human zoos. She was recruited by an exotic animal-dealer on location in Cape Town and traveled to London in 1810 to take part in an exhibition. The young woman went willingly under the pretense that she would find wealth and fame. Exhibitors were looking for certain qualities in their ‘exotic’ recruits that either coincided with the European beauty ideal or offered unexpected novelty. Sarah had a genetic characteristic known as steatopygia; a protuberant buttocks and elongated labia.

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She found herself being exhibited in cages at sideshow attractions dressed in tight-fitting clothing that violated any cultural norms of decency at the time. A few years later she came to Paris where racial anthropologists poked and prodded and made their theories. Sarah eventually turned to prostitution to support herself and drank heavily. She had been in Europe for only four years.

When she died in poverty, Sarah’s skeleton, sexual organs and brain were put on display at the Museum of Mankind in Paris where they remained until 1974. In 2002, President Nelson Mandela formally requested the repatriation of her remains. Nearly two hundred years after she had stood on deck and watched her world disappear behind her, Sarah Baartman finally went home, where the air smelled of buchu and mint, and the veld called out her name.

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We have come far as humanity, for things like this to not be happening anymore, but it is always good to never forget our history so that we do not make the same mistakes we did before.

Just let that sink in…..

 

 

The Art of Adult Friendships…

Friendship…… It is such an interesting phenomena isn’t it?

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I mean you meet this person who you know absolutely nothing about and suddenly there is a click. Like this person was meant to be in your life. Like somehow their destinies coincided with your destinies and just like that you have one destiny, and just like that you have made a choice, an unconscious choice that they are the ones you want to spend time with, the ones you want to share all your crazy meltdowns, experience life with, tell all your secrets because you know they will not judge you. These two souls attach to each other and just shut every other soul out.

You know even if they do not understand they will still love and appreciate you even though you are a messed up little weirdo they still stay by your side and embrace the crazy.

But it is not always rainbows and lollipops. Sometimes after you have been friends with the one you thought understood your insanity something happens to tear you apart, the trick is it is easy to make a friendship but hard as balls to maintain it. Some think making the friendship is the end, but really it should be the beginning, because the moment you stop watering and nourishing that friendship it turns stale. Then you find yourselves as strangers, sad strangers who knew each other for years then one day do not know or even like each other anymore. Sad strangers who might then become enemies, sad strangers who grow apart and end up doing things to hurt each other or even just the ignoring each other and pretending they never knew each other. I think that is the most painful of the situations, when you no longer know the person you used to know, the person you used to share everything with, to laugh with, to cry with, because when they disappear from your life all that is left is emptiness where they used to reside. An emptiness and loneliness and painful memories of what once used to be.

But do not despair, because with the emptiness comes the opportunity to make lifelong friends who will never turn to strangers, those who are in it for the long haul, who will ride or die with you, who will understand you so much that you will realize that those previous ones did not know you at all. Because you will realize that with these new ones you can completely be yourself, you can trust that they really do like you just the way you are and know that for as long as both of you will live they will be by your side, advising you when you need it, scolding you when you get out of line and supporting you if the situation allows and showing you how to be more you and them more themselves.

Six years into the notorious 20s, I’ve come to some conclusions about adult friendships,through my readings and my experiences I have realized that there are some things you need to understand and accept about friendships:

  1. Not Everyone Will Love You and Not Everyone Hates You. Some people won’t stick around forever but that doesn’t make you less loveable. The thing with human beings is that we are so damn complex. We can be a glass of fresh water to one person and a bottle of vinegar to another — no matter what our personality is.
  2. Not Everything is About You. In this voyeuristic time of constant social interaction and connection, we’ve become paranoid because everyone is watching. We’ve also become obsessed with ourselves. Think about it, for the past several years most of us have been documenting our lives for all to see. It’s tough not to be somewhat of a narcissist. However, no matter how great you are at deciphering supposed sub-tweets and virtual jabs — not everything is about you
  3. Don’t Fake the Funk. Frenemies are ageless but I aim to keep dodging these sort of relationships in years to come. I used to be so good at smiling and enjoying the company of others who I know just finished roasting me in a private shade session. Life too stressful to be worrying about the loyalty of your friends
  4. See People for Who They Really Are, Not for Who You Want Them to Be. This realization is for the long-timers. One of the most annoying parts of adulthood is that everyone grows up so differently.  Some go at a much faster pace than others. Some go into different directions. You have to see your friend for who they are and love them for it. If you went into a creative field and your friend is climbing the traditional corporate ladder, support their dreams. Don’t chastise them based on your own ideals and goals.
  5. Remember Why You Became Friends. Unfortunately, sometimes we end friendships — voluntarily or involuntarily. No matter the cause of the break-up, never forget your former friend is and will always be the person who you once liked
  6. It’s OK to Have Your Own Life. Sometimes we think in order to be a good friend we have to stifle ourselves. It’s ok to grow up and have your own life. It’s ok to move away
  7. Speak as Much as You Can, Even if It Isn’t Often. I think sometimes we put too much pressure into what makes an ideal friend. Face it, most of us are standing on unfamiliar ground right now, whether the ground be a new city, new job or just a new lifestyle. Again, being self-absorbed youths we expect our friends to be there and ready for us 24/7. We all want the same thing but aren’t always willing or able to give it back — that’s ok. The best we can do is give the most that we can in a friendship and be understanding of what our friends can give in return.
  8. Cherish the Moments Anyway. So you guys only speak a few times a month. Cherish the short moments anyway. Because we are becoming much more layered with our lives of love, career and all things complicated, many of us simply don’t have as much time as we use too. Thats ok. Whatever moments you have with your friends, cherish it anyway.
  9. Let it Go. Some relationships are only for a season. Tyler Perry has a beautiful monologue in his play “Madea Goes to Jail,” which compares friendships to a tree. Some people are leaves who are just there for a season, others are branches who will stay only until the weathers gets too bad, and then you have your roots who are there to support you no matter the storm. Be thankful for your roots and be content with letting go of your leaves and branches.

Getting a handle on this adult thing is already challenging. Facing these challenges with folks who truly love and support you, make you smile, and bring absolute peace to your life can be incredibly easy if you let it be. Do something fun with your friends,find that song that makes you all go crazy and dance like it’s the last night you are going to be there together, go out for a night on the town, get matching tattoos, gossip about your favorite men, go shopping together, go on an amazing road trip together, just have fun and create memories..

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Elliot Rodger and the price of toxic masculinity!

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On Friday night, May 23, Elliot Rodger allegedly stabbed three men to death in his apartment. He then got behind the wheel of his BMW and proceeded to murder three more people and injure 13 others before dying of a gunshot wound to the head.

 

He did this because he was a virgin.

This isn’t speculation. In a blood-chilling video titled “Elliot Rodger’s Retribution,” (link includes a transcript; the video itself is incredibly hard to watch) the 22-year-old delivered a long rant about being a virgin—about how since he hit puberty he has been afflicted with unfulfilled desires. He was 22 years old and had never even kissed a girl.

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In college, he felt as if he were surrounded by a world that he was not allowed to participate in, a world of sex and desire and love that he was cruelly excluded from. He wanted sex, but women refused to be attracted to him. He complained that it wasn’t “fair” that everybody else got to experience “sex, fun and pleasure,” and he was left out.

He couldn’t stand how women would snub him, a self-proclaimed “supreme gentleman,” while throwing themselves at “obnoxious brutes.” For these crimes, in his words—“the crime of living a better life than me”—they deserved to die. Because they supposedly forced him to suffer, they deserved to be made to suffer in return.

And so he killed six people and sent 13 more to the hospital.

His long, rambling manifesto is full of similar rants about the duplicity of women and how they needed to be put in their place. He believed he was entitled to women’s affections and to women’s bodies—and that being “denied” what he thought was his due meant that the best thing he could do is go murder as many people as he could to punish them. Because that was exactly what he was doing: punishing people for the crime of not fucking him. They were forcing him to be an “incel,” forcing him to be a virgin, making him less than a man. And he was spending his time in online communities and YouTube channels that encouraged and promoted that view.

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Because that is exactly what the cultural narrative of masculinity says: that manhood is inherently tied to sex. A man’s “coming of age” is linked to becoming sexually active—as early as possible.

In fact, the idea of “man as sexual being” is so ingrained that a man who was sexually assaulted as a child is seen as being that much more manly and potent. If Chris Brown can get laid at 8, what does that mean for you if you can’t get laid at 15? At 17? At 20? The older you get, the more terrifying it becomes to reveal that you’re a virgin—surely this means that something’s wrong with you, right?

It becomes a self-reinforcing loop of negative feedback: You’re still a virgin because you’re inherently damaged somehow and therefore other people won’t sleep with you so you stay a virgin for longer. And as a result, you’re not a man. You’re defective.

To read more please go to the link below

http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/elliot-rodger-price-toxic-masculinity/

Oh To Be Free..

lana

Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong place, the wrong era, the wrong time?!? Like the people around you, the people in the space that you exist in just do not understand the workings of your brain, your heart your soul, your every being?

Like you are just not living the life that you should? Like there is a greater purpose and you are just wasting your time with the current life that you are living?

Maybe like, dare I say, you just don’t belong? Cliche I know but I have no other way to put it..

Like you are living for everyone else but yourself, living a lie, day in and day out pretending to be someone that you aren’t just to please the people around you, to make them happy, content, comfortable with the you that you are parading around. Just so they would not feel weary, uncomfortable with the real you. The weird you. The you that you hide from the rest of the world?!

Like anything that you say just sounds wrong, your ideas about the world, people, life are not acceptable?! Even though in your hearts of hearts they feel so damn right?!

Sometimes I feel like i’m losing my mind. Going absolutely bonkers. Just because I feel so trapped, like a tiger in a cage, just waiting for the chance to finally break free and go wild, be me…

But then, then you meet that one person, or you see them on TV, or online, or hear that one song, that just gets you you know? That just describes you to a T.. And then you don’t feel so alone anymore..

Like there could be hope, somewhere, out there in this vast, great, big earth, that you will finally be home.. Finally find your people. Finally live, and not just exist, taking everyday as it comes?… For me that person, that song, that moment was when I discovered Lana Del Rey. And my all time favorite song of hers is  Ride.

I cant wait for that day when i’m finally free of all these flippin, ooh hell we are all adults here, fucking shackles.. And I can freely from the society, from the expectations..free to be me… 🙂

*sigh* I know I must sound like a blabbering idiot, but I just wanted to let out my feelings in an environment that I know I won’t be too harshly judged for my craziness and all around oddness..

Passion..

A person who has a passionate soul can not change who they are.. It surfaces into all areas of their lives, A passion who speaks, acts and breathes passionately can not be tamed..

Everything affects them wholly and completely… Music.. art… words…dance… feelings.. It all overly affects them

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They are naturally inquisitive.. They question everything.. sometimes to a point of exasperation. Until they find what their soul is searching for…

Their highs are insanely high,lifting them up to the peaks of the clouds..
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And their lows are gut wrenchingly low, burying them deep beneath the cold ground..
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One might say they are over baring, that they are clingy, or maybe dramatic.. But the truth is they just feel every single soluble of emotion to the very deepest of their core.. They love passionately..They mourn with fervor… They go through life with an unstoppable, unbreakable zeal..