Today i thought i should talk about something different, stalkers and secret admirers. Why do people become stalkers or secret admirers, even more importantly why do some people have stalkers!! I have had the experience of having someone actually stalk me, for me it was a very weird and somewhat scary experience. The girl was in love with me, but i did not feel the same for her at all ( i mean seeing as i am not attracted to girls and all). But it was a very traumatizing and stressful situation.
People characterized as stalkers may have a mistaken belief that another person loves them, or that they need rescuing.Stalking can sometimes consist of an accumulation of a series of actions which in themselves can be legal, such as calling on the phone, sending gifts, or sending emails. ( and i have experience all of the above, receiving email, phone calls, pictures of me taken when i didnt even know it, weird gifts) i mean name it i experienced it..
Despite a growing body of research in the past five years, stalking is still very misunderstood by the public, the courts and law enforcement. For practical purposes there are three types of stalking. Relationship stalking occurs when a couple breaks up. But that is not stalking in a legal sense. It just looks like and feels like stalking. Obsessional stalking develops because of the way the couple interacted and the way they broke up. Obsessional stalking is a psychological problem that has many causes but in general it is the result of an “on again” and “off again” relationship as was well as a “desire and fear of a relationship” in one person and “fear of separation and loss” in the other. The childhood of at least one these people is usually emotionally barren or emotionally abusive. Delusional stalking occurs when a mental disorder causes the person to become obsessed or fixated on some unsuspecting person because of what amounts to a medical condition.
Moving on, secret admirers arent really different from stalkers by my believe. I think the only difference is that we some how know that the secret admirers wont actually ever hurt us, or hurt other people because of their professed love for us.
A secret admirer is an individual who feels adoration, fondness or love for another person without disclosing their identity to that person. The admirer may often send gifts or love letters to their crush. A secret admirer is usually benign. Mostly, the goal of a secret admirer is to woo the object of their affections, and then to reveal their identity, paving the way for a real relationship.
The best way to deal with a stalker is to remove yourself from the stalker’s reach. This should be your first priority. Cut off all communication with the stalker. Avoid responding. As for the Secret admirer i guess it all depends on whether you want to know who that person is or not, and whether you will want to get to know them more or not, if you are curious, then you can go ahead and meet your secret admirer or if you are not interested, you can just ignore them and not respond to their letters and invitations. 😀
Now im not sure why i have had both a stalker( luckly only one) and secret admirer ( i have had about 4 now).. but below is a picture of some letters i have gotten from both my stalker and secret admirers.. can you tell which one is which ? 🙂